17 June 2004
with our cups still full of sand

the very last thing quinn ever said to me was that he would call me back with a good time to meet for lunch.

a day or two passed before i called in hopes to catch him and settle those plans. i left a message. another day or two passed before i realized i still hadn't heard from him. i left another message. a few weeks passed before i tried again. i got the message.

that was about 8 months ago.

i don't know what happened to cause him to shut away the past so completely. was it a selfish decision? or selfless? self-preserving? self-sacrificing? i don't know that it even matters why.

i find myself reflective today. i recently came across his website and curiosity prodded me to browse through the wedding photos and candid snapshots of his new life. i have no desire to try to contact him again, it's a closed book ... though i've always believed you've never read a book until you've read it twice.

yes, i suppose these moments of reflections are true to my nature.

the day before . the day after